Tenel Ka Djo (![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} hapanqueen) wrote,@ 2009-01-22 12:47:00 |
 |
|||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Stand Inside your Love – Smashing Pumpkins
...a pure soul
and beautiful you
don't understand
don't fear me now
I will breathe
for the both of us
travel the world
traverse the skies
your home is here
within my heart ...
"I'm a slow learner. And I don't usually get caught. My camouflage powers must be slipping."
"No, Jacen. I am just growing better at sensing your presence." Tenel Ka deactivated her lightsaber and tossed it on the bed, then warmly smiled and opened her arms to him. "I was hoping you would find time to call."
Jacen cocked his brow, then let his gaze slide over her body. "So I see."
"Well?" Tenel Ka asked. "Are you just going to stand there gawking? Or are you going to do something about it?"
Jacen chuckled, then stepped out of the corner and crossed to her. His Force presence remained undetectable -- he was so accustomed to concealing himself that he did so even around Tenel Ka -- but she could tell by the shine in his eyes how happy he was to see her. She slipped a hand behind his neck and drew his mouth to hers.
Breathless - The Corrs
And if there's no tomorrow
And all we have is here and now
I'm happy just to have you
You're all the love I need somehow
It's like a dream
Although I'm not asleep
And I never want to wake up
Don't lose it (don't lose it), don't leave it
Full of too much Toydarian sourfry, tired, and lulled by hot water, Jacen let his mind wander, and reached out in the Force to touch Allana and Tenel Ka. His risked this with decreasing frequency now. The latest attempt on their lives had been a stark warning of how precarious his family's position was. He'd never heard Allana call him Daddy. He probably never would.
My family. Yes, that's who my family is. Not Jaina, not Mom, not Dad; my little girl and her mother. Trust me to fall for a woman whose customs prevent her ever naming the father of her child. (Sacrifice)
-----
Jacen reached the stage of wanting to just turn and run when he took his leave of her and Tenel Ka, so he could avoid that hesitant parting a step at a time, looking back over and over again and thinking: What if this was the last time I ever saw them? He did think it. It was morbid, but a measure of how important they were to him that he tested just how devastated he'd feel without them. At least as Chief of State, he had a much better reason for more frequent contact with an allied monarch.
And he'd come through this visit without his destiny bursting in and creating a moment that told him he had to kill them. He listened for that whisper of fate, dreading it, but there was only silence. (Sacrifice)
A Beautiful Lie - 30 Seconds to Mars
Lie awake in bed at night
And think about your life
Do you want to be different?
Try to let go of the truth
The battles of your youth
'Cause this is just a game
It's a beautiful lie
It's the perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
Jacen and Tenel Ka stood facing each other in uncertain silence, their eyes meeting but their bodies still three paces apart.
Finally Jacen felt sure no one would be returning unexpectedly, "It's okay" he said, "I've just had a security sweep"
Tenel Ka did not smile but a look of relief flashed across her face, she was in Jacen's arms almost before he could open them"
-----
They stopped just inside the hatch, where they would be hidden from the hangar floor but still be visible from the passenger salon of the Shadow. It would be, Tenel Ka knew, the most privacy they were likely to find for a long time. She took Jacen's hand.
"All the same, we are grateful," she said. "Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you -- and feel free to visit us again when you have time. You will find a warm welcome among our subjects."
"Thank you, Majesty." Jacen bowed. "I will."
"Good. We will be looking forward to it."
Tenel Ka kissed Jacen on the cheek, then fought to keep back the tears as she watched him step through the hatch and once more vanish from her life. (Tempest)
Taking Over Me - Evenessance -
Have you forgotten all i know
and all we had?
You saw me mourning my love for you
and touched my hand
I knew you loved me then
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
you're taking over me
Clearly the attack on the Falcon had been the result of a terrible misunderstanding. Jacen had made a grave mistake but only because he was overcompensating, trying too hard to avoid letting his personal feeling influence his judgement.
That was certainly what Tenel Ka hoped - and what she chose to believe. (Tempest)
-----
There was no one around him with whom he could share his feelings as he had once done with Jaina, or seek advice from as he had once done with Luke, or turn to for unconditional support as he had once done with his parents.
Now there was only Tenel Ka, who was all those things to him during their brief trysts, and the hope that one day they could be together always. Caedus closed his eyes and let his mind drift into the future, not seeing it through the Force but imagining it with his heart. (Inferno)
Who Knew - Pink
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew?
Ben contemplated this for a moment, then asked, "But how do you know when someone can be brought back towards the light?"
"First, they must want to be redeemed," Tenel Ka said. "All Caedus wants is to control everything he sees. There is no use wishing otherwise, Ben." (Invincible)
-----
"Come now, Princess." Tenel Ka lowered the mirror, her face now perfectly composed, with no hint of the tears she had been shedding just a minute earlier. She pressed a button on the wall, and the antique lift began to rise again. "We both know that if you aren't for Jacen, you're against him." (Inferno)
What I've Done - Linkin Park
What I've done, I'll face myself,
to cross out what I've become.
Erase myself and let go of what i've done.
----------------------
Its my destiny Mara, to be a Sith Lord and bring order and justice. I had to kill you to do it. You’re going to save so many people Mara, You’ve saved Ben, you’ve saved Allana too. It’s not a waste believe me.
“You’re… as vile as he was…”
Jacen could hardly understand what she was saying
“Who?”
Palpatine” (Sacrifice)
-----
Suiting words to action, she leapt behind one of the natural stone columns lining the hangar bay and put her back to it. She turned her head to glance toward Jacen.
He looked straight at her, offering a tight little smile, then held up a comlink. He pressed the button on it.
The universe went white and it kicked against Tenel Ka's back... (Fury)
-----
He wasn't a criminal. He didn't deal in drugs or rob anyone. He'd done what he had to do, because nobody else was willing to tackle the anarchy, or stand up to the old power elites. Did they think he could change the galaxy by asking people nicely to stop being monsters to each other?
All those things had to be done.
Mara, Lieutenant Tebut, I didn't kill them for personal reasons. They were part of the path I had to take to be worthy of this office. How can you understand what a Sith has to do? How can you apply laws to us? Your ordinary laws weren't meant for us. (Revelation)
The Truth Bebeath the Rose - Within Temptation
Give me strength to face the truth
The doubt within my soul
No longer I can justify
The bloodshed in his name
Is it a sin to seek the truth, the truth beneath the rose?
Pray with me so I will find the gate to Heaven's door
I believed it would justify the means
It had a hold over me
Blinded to see
The cruelty of the beast
Here is the darkest side of me
As the lift began to rise, Tenel Ka's eyes grew wet, and her lip began to quiver.
"So the intelligence reports I have been getting from Kashyyyk are true?" she asked.
"I'm afraid so," Leia said. "I wish there was a better way to put this, but there isn't. Jacen is burning the planet to the dirt."
A single tear ran down Tenel Ka's cheek. "Why?"
"Who knows?" Han couldn't figure out why Tenel Ka was taking this so hard; she was acting like Jacen was her kid or something. "Because he's Jacen and he doesn't like when people say no to him."
This was too much for Tenel Ka. The tears started to flow more freely, and she touched a button on the wall. The lift stopped immediately, trapping them all inside the small compartment.
"Forgive me," Tenel Ka said, shaking her head in despair. "I don't know what to make of so much sad news." (Inferno)
Frozen- Within Temptation
Tell me I'm frozen, but what can I do?
Can't tell the reasons, I did it for you.
When lies turn into truth, I sacrificed for you.
You say that I'm frozen, but what can I do?
Caedus waited, pouring his love for her into the Force, trying to send it through his eyes into hers. He nodded. "You always knew you had a daddy. Your mommy had to keep who it was a secret. But now you're old enough to understand it. I'm your daddy." (Fury)
------
Caedus thought of Tenel Ka and went empty inside. The only time he slept well anymore was in her company.
(Inferno)
------
For a moment he tried to recapture a sense of what he had been as a teenager, before the war against the Yuuzhan Vong: gawky, happy, usually in the company of his twin sister, Jaina, and younger brother, Anakin, all too infrequently in the company of his parents... His sense of humor, always present, had usually manifested itself in the form of awful jokes learned in the four corners of the galaxy.
And then there were animals, Wedge's "cubs in trees." Once upon a time he's been able to charm a sand panther into purring, had been able to coax the cub of any species into his hand. How long had it been since he done that? Since he'd wanted to do that? (Exile)
On my Own - Three Days Grace
I walk alone
Think of home
Memories of long ago
No one knows I lost my soul long ago
Lied too much
She said that she's had enough
Am I too much
She said that she's had enough
"You'll send a skiff?" Caedus fumed. "Tenel Ka, you can't believe I'm going to surrender -- to you or anyone else."
"I am hoping you will." Tenel Ka's voice was sad but firm. "Because it is going to break my heart to have to fire on you."
Caedus's rage exploded inside of him, and his thoughts began to whirl in disbelief. He reached out to Tenel Ka in the Force, but found her aura drawn in tight, her presence unavailable to touch.
"Even you?" he gasped. "I thought you were made of stronger stuff, Tenel Ka. I thought you understood what I'm trying to accomplish." (Inferno)
-----
"Look into my heart, and you will know that the decision is mine alone."
Caedus felt her reaching out, opening her emotions to him. Her presence was filled with sorrow and anger and -- most devastating -- disappointment. There was love, too, but the kind of lost love that one carries for someone who has died or passed out of one's life forever.
Now Caedus's heart sank, sank so far that it seemed to vanish into the cold emptiness he felt gathering inside him. The unthinkable had happened. Tenel Ka had deserted him, their love just one more offering to his Sith destiny. He knew the sacrifice would strengthen him eventually, as every sacrifice now strengthened him, but this time it did not feel that way. All Caedus felt now was angry, stunned, and abandoned.
After a moment, Tenel Ka said, "I am asking you one last time, Jacen. Please don't make me do this."
"I'm sorry, Your Majesty," Caedus replied. "I have no choice.' (Inferno)
Hand of Sorrow - Within Temptation
The curse of his powers tormented his life
Obeying the crown was a sinister crime
His soul was tortured by love and by pain
He surely would flee but the oath made him stay
He's torn between his honor and the true love of his life
He prayed for both but was denied
So many dreams are broken and so much we sacrifice
Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind
The fire in Jacen's eyes was as anguished as it was intense, and Luke finally began to understand just how alone his nephew really was. He had lost his younger brother during the last pan-galactic war and renounced his sister and parents in an attempt to prevent another one, and in his unwavering battle against the evil he saw threatening the galaxy, he was clearly ready to surrender his relationship with his aunt and uncle, as well.
-----
And, for a moment, Caedus became Jacen once again, filled with sorrow for what he had become, yet still knowing how necessary it all was. It was the only way to bring order to a galaxy that fed on strife a war, the only way to create a home where his daughter and the daughters of his allies and enemies would one day grow up in peace and security.
Thoughtless- Korn
All of my hate cannot be bound
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming
"Greetings to the esteemed Queen Mother of the Hapes Consortium." His voice did not exactly drip with sarcasm, but the excessive formality he employed, treating Tenel Ka as some distant ruler, ignoring all that they had been to each other, was just as hurtful. "At Kuat, you put me into an untenable situation. Being abandoned by one whom I once had considerable affection and respect, was like being murdered... and surviving.
"So I'm going to repay the favor. You have a choice to make, like the one you tried to force upon me. You will put all Hapan military forces under my command, with ships' senior officers to be supplied by the Galactic Alliance... or your daughter will die."
Jacen leaned forward so that his face more completely filled the monitor screen. His eyes were bright, inhuman in their intensity and focus. They even seemed lighter in color than usual. "By doing what you did to me, you changed me into someone capable of doing exactly what I have promised. The threat is not a bluff, and if it takes place, it will be your doing. Something to keep in mind the next time you play the Hapan cultural game of backstabbing and bloodletting."
The screen went dark.
-----
Tenel Ka let our a breath she realized she'd been holding since Jacen first appeared on screen. Isolder said nothing.
Finally, she turned to him. She struggled to keep her voice even, but it wasn't easy; her breath wanted to come in pained gasps. "Prince Isolder. In your opinion, is he capable of carrying out his threat?"
"I don't know him nearly as well as you, Queen Mother. But... yes." He glanced at the monitor. "I've watched the recording a dozen times, and each time I see a man whose humanity has been utterly extracted from him. "
Tears camed to Tenel Ka's eyes. "He was right, you know. It's like being murdered and surviving." (Fury)
My Last Breath - Evenesance
Hold on to me love
you know i can't stay long
all i wanted to say was i love you and i'm not afraid
can you hear me?
can you feel me in your arms?
holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
And Jaina felt something in the Force, too -- something that made her pulse stop and her chest sink and her blood freeze in her veins. Her brother was reaching out to Tenel Ka, screaming at her through the Force, warning her there was danger, urging her to take Allana and...
The blade reached Caedus's heart, and he dropped at her feet, and Jaina felt nothing at all. (Invincible)